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i could change the world (if i could just get out of bed)

from the session by Josh Barkey

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lyrics

I wrote this song just as I was starting to come out of a fairly ugly bout of depression. I debated tacking a hopeful, positive end to the song, but that felt a little dishonest and not necessarily helpful.

My hope would be that the song (as it is) would first of all help someone who's struggling with depression to feel understood, and second of all would help someone who does not struggle with depression to understand a little better what someone who does feels like, and needs most of all - which is to be loved, even if the depression never dissipates.
lyrics
LYRICS:

I could change the world
if I could just get out of bed.
But I can’t shake these words
runnin’ round here in my head.
I could make you see
if I could take you there.
But I can’t make you be,
the kinda lover who’d care.

Somedays all that I can do
is sleep and breathe.
Hopin’ you might push on through
and not give up on me.
Will you still love me forever?
Will you still love me if I never get better?

Where do you find your hope?
Can spare a little for me, please?
I’m at the end of my rope.
I’m fallin’ down on my knees.
On the outside,
I’m lookin great.
But inside, I’m kinda broke.
Crushed beneath all of this weight.
Of all the words I never spoke.

Somedays all that I can do
is sleep and breathe.
Hopin’ you might push on through
and not give up on me.
Will you still love me forever?
Will you still love me if I never get better?

credits

from the session, released January 23, 2024

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Josh Barkey Waxhaw, North Carolina

I grew up barefoot in the Amazon jungle, catching and eating piranhas before they could catch and eat me.

After hand planting around half a million baby trees in the wilds of Canada, I cut my creative teeth as a painter, poet, writer of fiction, sculptor, and filmmaker.

Now (on the eve of an apocalypse) seemed as good a time as any to add another art form to the mix. ... more

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